More Goops and How Not to Be Them: A Manual of Manners for Impolite Infants

(8 User reviews)   1150
By Dominic Novak Posted on Apr 1, 2026
In Category - Online Safety
Burgess, Gelett, 1866-1951 Burgess, Gelett, 1866-1951
English
Okay, picture this: a book from over a century ago that’s basically a hilarious, slightly savage guide on how NOT to be a tiny terror. Gelett Burgess’s 'More Goops and How Not to Be Them' is a collection of short, snappy poems and lessons starring the 'Goops'—these weird, bald, impish creatures who are the absolute worst at manners. They slurp soup, interrupt constantly, and are generally little monsters. The 'conflict' isn't a traditional plot; it's the eternal battle between civilized behavior and the natural, messy impulses of childhood. Burgess doesn't just scold; he uses absurdity and wit to show kids (and the adults reading to them) the natural consequences of being rude. It’s laugh-out-loud funny because we all recognize a little 'Goop' in someone we know (maybe even ourselves). Think of it as a vintage, rhyming version of those modern parenting memes about why your kid shouldn’t lick the shopping cart. It’s a total time capsule that somehow feels weirdly relevant today.
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Let's be clear: this isn't a novel with a sweeping plot. It's a manual, but one delivered with a wink and a nudge. Gelett Burgess presents a series of short, illustrated lessons on manners, each featuring his infamous 'Goops.'

The Story

There's no continuous narrative. Instead, each page or two presents a new social faux pas. We see Goops who talk with their mouths full, who grab the biggest piece of cake, who fidget in church, and who never say 'please' or 'thank you.' Each misbehavior is captured in a simple, often rhyming verse. The 'story' is the cumulative portrait of utterly dreadful behavior. Burgess contrasts the Goops' actions with the polite alternative, showing the chaos they cause and the quiet dignity of good manners. The illustrations—of these strange, bald, pointy-headed creatures—add a layer of cartoonish humor that makes the lessons stick.

Why You Should Read It

First, it's genuinely funny. Burgess has a sharp, dry wit. He doesn't preach from a high horse; he points and laughs at the absurdity of bad manners, making the lesson more effective. Reading it now, over 100 years later, is a fascinating experience. Some rules feel quaint ('Don't tilt back in your chair'), while others are timeless ('Don't interrupt'). It's a snapshot of social expectations from another era, which is interesting in itself. But the real magic is how it connects generations. Parents or grandparents might remember the Goops from their own childhoods. Reading it aloud today, you'll find kids giggling at the silly Goops while unconsciously absorbing the message. It turns etiquette into a game of 'spot the error' rather than a lecture.

Final Verdict

This book is a quirky gem for a specific audience. It's perfect for parents or teachers looking for a painless, humorous way to talk about manners with young kids (roughly ages 5-10). It's also a delight for anyone interested in social history, vintage children's literature, or illustration. If you enjoy the whimsical, slightly subversive humor of Shel Silverstein or Roald Dahl, you'll find a kindred spirit in Gelett Burgess. Just don't come expecting a storybook adventure. Come expecting to laugh, maybe cringe in recognition, and enjoy a brilliantly odd piece of publishing history that still has something to say.



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This publication is available for unrestricted use. Preserving history for future generations.

William Flores
1 year ago

This is one of those stories where the author's voice is distinct and makes complex topics easy to digest. Exceeded all my expectations.

Kevin Thomas
1 year ago

Amazing book.

Emma Gonzalez
1 month ago

Five stars!

4.5
4.5 out of 5 (8 User reviews )

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